Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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