there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is Oprah even human
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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