so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
