im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
