Dual....:-)
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize