i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
