How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
