Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
