This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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