smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
