when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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