A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
