All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
