get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
