Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
