I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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