Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
