Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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