Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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