So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize