I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
