okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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