My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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