She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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