Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
