Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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