Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Can I color on your dick again?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
