i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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