I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
