So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
