dude i'm inner monologue high
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize