it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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