I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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