You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
