Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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