did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so let's talk penis.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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