yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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