A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
