ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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