evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
