oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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