let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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