so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
