bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
