Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize