Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
