eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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