Im at strip club and am horny
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
