HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
