...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
