So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
