Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
