Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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