When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
