if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
