don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just googled if crying burns calories
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
