I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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