glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
