He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Two words: blizzard sex
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
