Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
