Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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