fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize