his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
