the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
