Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
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