so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
