dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
