I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
