i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
