last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
