That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
