If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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