ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
