I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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