Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Sober January is a disaster.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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