If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
