I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
