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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.

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• (818): View more from California

  Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.

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• (415): View more from California

  Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.

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