You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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