Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
