he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
